Sooooo I’m looking through the pics of the BILLION things that went down in NYC yesterday (quietly longing to return to my soul mate of a city) when I come across these arrival pics of JAMIE FOXX on Letterman last night. He was there of course to pump his new flick The Soloist (which I’m hearing is phenomenal). My first thought upon seeing this was, ‘HEY, IT’S MY COLOR FOR THE SPRING!’ cause I’m allll about this purple right now. But then upon further inspection I notice this black strap running across his chest. What’s this?

Now, I understand fellas that you have things you need to carry too. Though I’m puzzled what exactly Jamie needs to carry as he’s chauffeured to and from Letterman with a group of publicists, assistants and at least one hunnie and homie. But let’s be clear here on the difference between a ‘Man bag’ & a purse. 

THIS is a Man Bag

1. It should be able to carry two or more of the following: Gym clothes, a laptop, purple sneakers, or a pack of diapers for one of your baby’s mamas

2. The strap of a Man Bag must be more than 1 1/2 inches wide: the width of the strap should be proportional to the length of your manhood. Though you must figure out the ratio for yourself. If i told you the ladies would kill me. 

3. The Man Bag must be matte in texture: Shiny bags are called one thing, purses. 

Are we clear?