So what I’m about to tell you is undoubtedly one of the most bizarre nights of my already bizarre life. But the following is completely true.

As I mentioned to you yesterday, I’m out here in LA straight west coastin’, and having spent the last four days in a BET awards bubble, I was happy to relax with my girls and enjoy a night out at the Improv for a comedy show. The mood in the room was…uneven. After somewhat hilarious performances from MELODY CAMACHO, RODMAN and COREY HOLCOMB we thought the show would end with the uber-hilarious unstoppable force that is TK KIRKLAND (if you EVER get the opportunity to see this dude, TAKE IT.) However as host DERAY DAVIS came back to the stage, several people got up to leave to which he said, “Ya’ll don’t wanna see DAVE CHAPPELLE?”

Now of course he was joking. He had to be. This was a Monday night at the Improv. Most people in there, us included, had gotten in with free tickets off the guestlist. And where the hell would Dave come from? So we all proceeded to get up to get ready to leave.

And then Dave Chappelle took the stage. And that is where he would stay for the next four hours.

Let me be clear, Chappelle didn’t really have much material to do. He stumbled through a few jokes, he chain smoked American Spirits (when I reminded him that CA was a smoke-free state he replied ‘No YOUUUU can’t smoke in here”) and he joked that he simply came out because he wanted the attention.

Make no mistake, he’s still one of the funniest guys you will ever see.

Dave is still…Dave. He’s surprisingly dark and brooding (he went on for nearly five minutes about how he possesses the ability to ‘ruin souls’ using words) . He’s a conspiracy theorist. And because he’s trying to get ‘better at his religion’, the comedian has quit smoking weed and drinking alcohol (Chappelle is Muslim).

So what was he doing there really? Testing us. Apparently the comedian is known for dipping into clubs late at night and issuing an unspoken challenge to the audience, “I can last longer than you can.” The next few hours would be a mixture of jokes, rambling stories and his true feelings about everything from the death of Michael Jackson (he thinks there’s a conspiracy behind this), the Iranian election (’Trying to convince someone to change is always a challenge but starving someone into your beliefs is just wrong’), and even his marriage and raising mixed-race children (his wife Elaine is Filipina). And all of this was done in a Q&A style. In fact towards the end, the 15 or so of us left were trying to think of things to ask the gangly funny-man, as we all fought off sleepiness.

So what’d we learn from the man that famously left Comedy Central high and dry by walking out on their multi-season contract valued at $50 million?

He didn’t walk away from the money.

“Dave, did you give the money back?” a guy towards the back of the room shouted.

“Of course not. Who the fuck told ya’ll that?” he responded with his signature dead pan. Dave was open about the show, his qualms with the industry (he says he’d rather not return to scripted television) and how right now the comedian (who’s without a manager or an agent) is almost virtually un-employable.

“I walked out on $50 million. I’m too dangerous for Hollywood. I basically told them even their money couldn’t control me.”

So what does control Dave? “I’m a sucker for strippers” he admitted. The happily married man delighted in looking at the ample T&A in the weeknight hotspot and even took a few pictures rubbing on the boobs of tourists in town from Atlanta for the BET awards. Oh yes and Dave did watch the awards. But when I asked him what he thought of the show that left viewers so polarized he simply said, “Jamie made me laugh.”

As the hours went on, Chappelle took question after question, almost daring us to get up to leave – and then actually begging some to stay when they actually did. The mood was light, strange, and relaxed. I imagine it’s a lot like what seeing an early Dave Chappelle (before the show that ’shook up the world’) would’ve felt like. But make no mistake, this man is still famous – he just has an interesting way of looking at it. “You know why I’m cool? Cause I’m not cool. You know why I’m funny? Because I’m not funny? You know why I like myself? Because I do drugs sometimes.”

Dave laments his frustrations with the entertainment industry openly. He admits that he’s not a very good actor (”As a comedian I can call forth tons of useless information at a moments notice. But actors can call forth emotions”) and that in his mind he’s STILL writing skits for Chappelles show – though he wouldn’t tell me which current event he’d most like to skewer.

The DC native did give me one little gem – we came so close to seeing Chappelle take a run at Michael Jackson. In the unfinished third season, they were weeks away from shooting what he says was hands down the funniest sketch ever written for the show. It was to be called ‘Courtroom Thriller’ and would skewer the pop stars 2006 trial for child molestation charges – in the vain of his groundbreaking horror themed music video. But it would never be shot. When asked about his infamous castmate CHARLIE MURPHY, Dave had an honest answer, “Last time I saw that nigga he was on TV hosting my show.”

He then went on to explain that there is no beef between he and Charlie (or DARNELL ROWLINGS aka Ashy Larry) and he never faulted them for their decision to co-host the third season. To Chappelle, their decision was all business.

Now to the million dollar question: What’s Dave going to do next? “NOTHING! I’ve got nothing going on! If you want, I’ll come kick it with you,” was his answer. Of course if you believe this, you’re an idiot. As quiet as it’s kept, Chappelle’s been recording these top secret dates for about a year and says he’s got “thousands of hours of material.”

So does that mean we’ll ever see a new episode of The Chappelle Show? No. Let it go. The show is over.

So what’s all the material for? David Chappelle, is quietly working on his first comedy special in 5 years. Some of my industry insiders say the hour-long special will be ‘big’ and more than likely for HBO.

But none of this has been confirmed and no date had been announced. And as the witching hour approached, my friends and I gave in to our sleepiness. Chappelle had won. Then again, we’d just seen one of the greatest comedians of our time for free, so I think it’s safe to call it even.