Two years ago I was excited when I first learned there was a documentary being shot about Black Women and our hair. Then I heard Chris Rock was doing it and my excitement turned to curiosity. I mean Chris Rock? The dude behind Pootie Tang? The man obsessed with clear heels, Jay-Z and strippers? He was going to talk about our hair? And I knew then that this was either going to be awful or surprisingly enlightening.

In the meantime – while Good Hair was being shot/edited/shopped –  I was on a hair journey of my own. Every style imaginable, I’d tried it. Weaves, braids, bald fades, low-cut Ceasars with deep waves, curly fros and color…Don’t even get me started on color. At one point my hair was three different shades of orange. Yet  despite it all – amazingly – my hair always grew back. But my biggest challenge was breaking my hairs own chemical addiction to relaxers. In 2002 I moved out to LA – land of the dry heat and low humidity – and after having a hard time finding a stylist who would do my touch-ups, I decided I’d kick the habit once and for all.

It took my hair two years to lose the perm. It took my mind two more years to understand what it had meant for me in the first place. It took seeing Good Hair and more importantly listening to the backlash that surrounded it, for me to understand exactly what the hair issue is…

There is no such thing as ‘good hair’.

To imply that someone has ‘good hair’ is to also imply that there is someone else out there with ‘bad hair’. And that implication I think is what’s at the center of the films backlash. And you all know me, I could no longer sit quiet. I needed to say something, so here goes.

Our hair care DOES NOT need to be a secret.

The video above is a prime example of the arguments I’ve witnessed from Black women over the past few weeks, just about EVERYTIME I’ve brought up the docu-comedy. But I was surprised this morning when I read Alynda Wheat’s Entertainment Weekly article blasting the film from a group of “fellas (who) got together and came up with a film that, while well-intentioned, just doesn’t get it.”

How many times has a Black women become annoyed with a comment/suggestion/misconception/inquiry about our hair from a person of another race? How many times have we rolled our eyes, frustrated, wishing they would ‘get it’?

It seems the biggest problem Black Women have with Good Hair is it’s bringing to the surface some deep-seeded insecurities that we already have about our hair.

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Black women are one of the most misunderstood sub-cultures on Earth. But we’re rarely shown a justified mirror to help us understand the role we play in the misconceptions we face daily. But Good Hair has the opportunity to be one such mirror.

I’m going to tell you a little secret: Nobody really believes that blonde hair on top of your head is yours. And chances are, if your roots are course, the average person doesn’t really think the long-flowing wet n’ wavy on the rest of your scalp is natural anyway. We are not really fooling anybody. And more often than not, even when a white person asks about our hair, it’s not because they believe it’s ours, but rather because they spot something ‘fishy’ and they want to know more. And what they’d really like to know – and are too afraid to ask – is why are we wearing it?

Does this offend you? Well if it does, ask yourself for a moment how many times you’ve wondered why white people do some of the things they do – What’s with crazy white men that can’t just break up with a girl instead of killing them? What’s with white people and their dogs? What’s with white women and botox and collogen? Still offended?

And what difference does it make that Chris Rock is a man? For those that see the film, it’s obvious that Rock plays the role of the student, often asking the very questions that men and women wonder often about the elaborate intricacies of our styles.

I welcome any and all questions about my hair. Why? Because I’m not ashamed of it. Whether I’m wearing a weave, a natural, or Pocahontas pigtails. My hair is good not because of its texture, but because it is mine – whether I grew it, bought or rented it for the night.

Is the film perfect? No. And every documentary is slanted because in order to make one you have to first begin with a theory. But Good Hair is in no way ‘making fun’ of or ‘exploiting’ women of color.

Good Hair issues no indictments. Instead it takes a deeper (not complete) look at the world of black hair. And then opens up the floor for discussion. And that is a discussion EVERY race needs to be included on. Why? Because if other races could better understand our hair, maybe they could better understand us and perhaps some of the misconceptions might begin to go away.

Now, should every race be open to make judgments on what should be done with our hair? Absolutely not. I think there’s something to be said for cultural respect and ‘knowing your place’. But why isn’t it open for everyone to understand?

If we want more, we will have to learn to give more. And here’s a perfect opportunity to take the chips off our shoulders (however ‘justifiable’ they might be) and support this look into our culture. Then take where the film left off and run with it…

Remember there was a time when nobody cared about our culture. Can we really be upset now that a brotha actually wants to share it?

Now, you’e read my thoughts. I’d love to get yours. Please retweet this post and then leave ALL your thoughts and comments below.